Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-ES-099 (?)
- SCP-ES-099 consists of three items: a black grand piano (SCP-ES-099-1), a musical score (SCP-ES-099-2), and a red cashmere suit (SCP-ES-099-3). When someone wears the suit and tries to play the specific musical score on the piano, they are forced to play the entire piece, even though it's physically impossible for a single person. As they play, their fingers suffer severe burns and injuries, the piano cracks, and the suit's rose decays. At the end of the five-minute performance, the person announces the piece, collapses, and usually dies from heart failure, or, if they survive, develops a strong fear of pianos, paranoia, and psychosis. The items are contained separately to prevent this dangerous combination.
- Lal Bihari (?)
- Lal Bihari, also known as Lal Bihari Mritak, is an Indian farmer and activist who was officially declared dead between 1975 and 1994, despite being alive. His uncle bribed an official to register him as deceased to gain ownership of his ancestral land. Bihari fought for 19 years to prove he was alive, even adding "Mritak" (deceased) to his name and founding the Mritak Sangh, an association for people wrongfully declared dead, which now has over 20,000 members across India. He used various methods to draw attention to his plight, including organizing his own funeral and running for election. In 1994, his official death was annulled after a prolonged legal battle, and he received the Ig Nobel Peace Prize in 2003 for his efforts.